Sooooo...i haven't been on in like a year...O.o
a lot has happened...
1)i got my green belt in Tae kwon do
2)i started wushu
3)i got my orange belt in wushu
4)i went to sea world camp again
5)i started 11th grade
6)my brother got married, i was a brides made
7) lots of mental breakdowns
8)i made alot of new amazing friends
9)im in a band, i sing and write songs
10) i got a hair cut..
and alot more

so i've been buisy let me know whats up with you guys

GAh!!! i got my poi set today!! i wasnt supposed to get them for another 2 weeks!! im so excited!! i can Rave now..gah!! you guys have no idea how excited i am!!!

[link] this is poi for thoes of you who dont know. but this is fire poi. i dont do that but chris does!! i will eventually. same thing except without the fire
ill post a pic later

Im not really shure whats going on right now..
Im completly lost and confused about /EVERYTHING/..
I dont really know what to do anymore...i thought i was doing better..guess not..figures
I got to the point a while back where i just stopped feeling anything, but now im at the point where i just feel pain..and it's pushing me over the edge..
really /fast/
I always seem to ruin everything..i dont know how i just do.. my life, relationships, friendships...just -poof- dead..and why? cuz of something i did..i hate that..
I kinda really want to cry right now...but i cant...i /dont/ cry..i have to be strong...i cant cry..i hate crying..but at the same time..i want to more than ever...i hate that too..
There's something wrong...i know there is..i just dont know /what/ it is...but thats normal for me..not knowing anything
At the current moment school is murdering me..and im having really bad withdrawl from certain friends i havent seen or talked to in /forever/.. thats kinda killing me too..
Mom's kinda annoying me but thats a ussual thing..
I miss India now more than ever...idk why now..but it's killing me to not be with her..i just want her back.. i /love/ her...
i wish i knew /what/ to do..and i hate myself for not knowing what to do

so my mother's being a nazi bitch..
she's really good at that..
it's like her job...
something she enjoys...
like a hobby
bloody fucking psyco..
i hate her so much..
you dont even know...

after about two hours and 4 times i finally got my vid. up on you tube..[link] here's the link please go watch it...tell me if its bad..